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About Deviant the truth is turned on31/Female/United States Recent Activity
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Someone sent this question to my tumblr, so here is my response in case anyone is still out there.

hi there, I’m a huge fan of your work. I love everything you write. I was wondering if you have ‘abandoned’ Sunny Disposish, I reread it alot. I’m going to start what is probably 10th reread. I hope you are doing well, because I have been following you for a while and know your life has been busy for a long time. Just wanted to let you know you have very dedicated fans. ~ simplyspectating

I have been doing well, actually! 

So it turned out that librarianship suits me pretty well. I work in a huge archive with rare and unique stuff that belonged to famous people, and get to use copyright knowledge now and then. I have my own office, a great big desk, an oil painting of some hotties, I get to make exhibits, which are basically giant scrapbooking pages, and I get to schmooze and rub elbows with interesting donors who want to support the university. It’s so much fun, I get to do so many things, and people trust me to do what I need to do, which is essential in life, I think.

The answer to your actual question is yes and no. I did abandon it. I think I associated writing that story so closely with 3 very difficult years—ones that changed my personality a bit and that I’m still walking back from—that after I graduated, I needed some time to separate the two. Writing was an escape from something I didn’t always enjoy, and when law school was over, it sort of felt like I couldn’t be on the same level of writing if I wasn’t suffering somehow. It was a weird burnout tangled up with egoism, I think. 

I’ve also felt guilty about the way I approached the writing process, which made me feel like an impostor or a fraud. I wrote in a very serialized, cliffhanger-y fashion and left it up to Future Me to figure out where the plot was going without sufficient planning—something I’ve always felt and worried was obvious and certainly detrimental to the outcome of the story and my motivation to keep going. Anyone who makes something is convinced that everyone can see all the flaws the way they can. I can fill notebooks with plot ideas and a general sense of where Alice and the Hatter could wind up (and my brain does love coming up with situations). My trouble, though, has always been that I like these characters, and I struggle with the act of antagonizing or genuinely challenging them—and a good challenge, we all know, is essential to a meaningful story.

I won’t go into all my complaints about myself, but bottom line is this: after years of waiting for things to work themselves out, of going through other fandoms, and doing other things, I am choosing to be in charge.

Pretty recently, I picked it up again. Really: I sat down and dedicated a notebook to working on Sunny Disposish. 

I’m not actively writing plot at the moment, but what I am doing is working and sifting through the psychologies behind characterizations and motivations, and stabilizing all those wriggly little loose ends that I always promised myself would somehow tie themselves together in the end. 

It is hard, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get to read anything new in the near future. There are a lot of things that I’d like to rewrite or excise altogether, and plenty of things I’d like to add. Editing is not the same as reworking elements that never went anywhere or that changed halfway through.

My issue right now, though, is figuring out whether I want to continue the serialized release format. On the one hand, chapters mean feedback, talking to people who enjoy what I’m doing, and most of all, accountability and motivation to keep working—on the other, comments and likes could sometimes be an impetus instead of a consequence. Which method is best? I honestly don’t know. I don’t have incentives to entice you to stick around while I’m over here noodling with psychology. My goal is to have a cohesive flowing story, one that exists in its best possible form, which is to say—finished.

So I am still figuring things out, but I am approaching it with a different attitude and end goal in mind, as well as some new perspectives on the point of all this. I want it to be meaningful, which isn’t the same thing as perfect, but it does require more careful fitting-together of the pieces. 


the truth is turned on
United States
I'm 5 feet tall and I write. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. I have a very irregular and unprofessional updating schedule owing to the fact that cable is important. I'm left-handed and I like to knit, swim, and paint my nails. My favorite word is upholstery.

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lwhite86 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Dude, I just realized that I've barely favorited any of your awesometastic story that I've been obsessed with for years, so I went back and favorited pretty much every single chapter of Sunny Disposish on principle. Pathetic? Yup. Don't care, you deserve it.
emjrabbitwolf Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Please come back.....
kisshulove9 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014
Happy Birthday! :iconhappybirthday2plz::iconsweetcakeplz:
RunningGlade Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Happy Birthday!
perniciousflame Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014
I was introduced to your incredible story and beautiful writing five years ago, and have revisited it countless times since. I always find more and more through rereading, comments, and your great chapter guides and countless links to your inspirations. The time and passion you have poured into Sunny Disposish is so admirable, and I am beyond grateful to you for sharing this with all of us. I adore all facets of this story, especially every detail of foreshadowing/symbolism, which expands my mind and keeps me on my toes to even try to imagine what you have in store for these characters. Truly, thank you for this story and being wonderful to share it. 
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